Joshua King's Sphere of Thought

To My Wife

I went off into my mind for a bit tonight, hope nobody thinks I'm too terribly strange. This is how I invision meeting my future wife I suppose. I'll make her the happiest woman in the world, you better believe it.

Do you remember that spring day, I sat next to you on the park bench? You had on that green frilly dress, and you were waiting for your friends. I don't think I noticed your beauty at first, because I was so wrapped up in my sorrows. And then...then you smiled at me. My world of grey had been painted by the radiance of that smile. "Can she be the one?" I asked myself. "Or are you just lonely again Josh." Your friends came to pick you up, and I waved goodbye.

Do you remember when I ran into you at the grocery store? I was so excited to see you again, but I didn't want things to be weird. So I accidentally bumped into your cart (heh), I guess I thought that would be inconspicious enough. And then came your smile. That smile that ran through my mind since our last meeting that day in the park. I wanted so badly then to touch your face, and hold you forever. "I have to say something," I kept telling myself. "Hello again!" you said, with your underrated midwestern voice. "Sorry, uh, I guess I'm a Clutz. Maybe I need ballet lessons?" I said in a hurry, trying to think of something clever, yet obviously failing. Ballet lessons? Great Josh, now she'll swoon for sure. You politely giggled and waved goodbye. I had blown it again...but at least I got to see you. At least, I got to see your smile.

Do you remember when I waved to you in chemistry class? "What luck!" I thought, as I spotted your face in the crowd of new students. "I can't sit by her though, she'll think I'm a stalker or something". Did you notice how shocked I was when you came to sit by me? "The guy from the park right? I remember you!" My heart raced with excitement and joy. What should I say, how do I say it? I hope she doesn't think I'm an idiot, I gotta play this just right. "Yeah", I said. "That's me alright." I couldn't seem to pull myself together in front of you. You were my Venus, what could I say that could possibly impress you? You were beautiful, radiant, happy...all of the things I was sorely lacking. "Is that all your going to say?" you said to me in a playful voice. "I...uh...", by now I was mumbling unintelligently. "I just wanted to say hello silly," you said. "Maybe we can be friends. I don't really know anyone since I'm new around here." If only you could've felt the feeling of hope, happiness, and wonder coursing through my entire body in that moment, I'm sure you would've exploded (God knows I nearly did).

Do you remember our first kiss? We had been making fun of each other all night at the movies, at dinner, and in the car. You're so much fun to be around, I loved everything you did. Every breath and every dumb joke. Even all those stories about your childhood. It was raining that night, and we laughed at some silly joke I told as we ran out of the car under the shelter of your roof. Did we even have to think about it really? I believe we knew deep down, that we should kiss right then and there. I remember how wet the flannel shirt you stole from my closet was when I wrapped my arms around you. Your long hair was so drenched, your make up had all come off...and I loved you more than ever. Did it seem short to you? Maybe I just wanted it to last longer. I had kissed other girls before, but you were my first real kiss...and I knew it then and there.

Do you remember when I asked you to marry me? You know I don't like the big fancy public displays, so I asked you one night while I held you on my couch in the dark. Your hair smelled so lovely that night, kind of like strawberries. It felt so right holding you there in that moment, just like all the moments before. I thought I would be scared to ask you, but I wasn't. Why should I be, afterall? We were meant to be. We both knew that. You said yes. You said...yes. Forty thousand butterflies flapped around in my stomach, tears came down my face, and the walls...those walls I had put up around my heart for so very long, fell down. All the love I had stored, waiting for you, poured out that night. I couldn't contain myself, I didn't care if you thought I was weak, or weird. I wanted you to know that I loved every bit of you right then and there. Do you remember how tightly I held you? I didn't want to let go, not then, and not ever.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

God has given me the gift he's promised. The gift I thought would never come, now stands before me. I love you, and thank you for loving me.